Yesterday…

Yesterday I made a joke on my brothers status, this joke was followed up by a rude comment from his current girlfriend. When I messaged my brother to ask him why I had received a rude comment from his girlfriend I received an inbox message full of lies from her which even said that I had made up a significant life event in order to get back into my brothers life. This is the same brother who lived with me, repeatedly got drunk while living with me (and my toddler son), and just generally took the piss out of my hospitality (for almost two years) so much that in the end I had to ask him to leave, not what you expect when you offer someone a home, so to be honest, I was never going to make up a significant life event to get back into his life was I? His girlfriend yesterday told me that I was not in the right stage of a relationship to make jokes to my brother, I didn’t realise after knowing somebody for 27 years and sharing parents with them there was a wrong stage of a relationship??? She explained how she has only just ALLOWED him to have me back in his life and he won’t be doing it again and I only have myself to blame. She then went on to accuse my mum of constantly calling my brother, called her pathetic and then unfriended and blocked my mother from her Facebook account. Please bear in mind this is the same girlfriend who was having a relationship IN MY HOUSE, where my toddler was present, whilst still living with, being married to and being in a full relationship with her ex husband!

The sole purpose of yesterday’s exercise was to cause a family scale argument which she didn’t because she obviously does not know my family, we are gladiators and we stick together! Not one person (other than her) who has read my comment thinks it was offensive and warrants the messages I received.

Many of you may be thinking why am I airing my dirty laundry on here for all to see… because I’d like all of my friends and family to know who she truly is. She has definitely shown her true colours and the treatment my mum has received in all of this is absolutely diabolical, I’m pissed off but could never really like a woman who came to my house and did the things she did. And as for him… I knew when he sent me a friend request that having him back in my life would just be trouble so I will never make the same mistake again. When his relationship ends with this girlfriend I will not be here to pick up the pieces. He will rue the day he ever ALLOWED his hell hound be this disrespectful to his family!!!

An Introduction to Sociology

Sociology is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the study of the development, structure and functioning of human society or the study of social problems.” Sociologists study human activities throughout society and develop theories that explain everyday human behaviours. These theories are then supported by empirical evidence.

Meaning… Sociologists study pretty much everything regarding people and the society we live in.

The areas which I am going to concentrate on in this blog are as follows:

  • The main figures of Sociology and Sociological Theories
  • Culture and Identity
  • The Family
  • Education
  • Sociological Research Methods
  • Crime and Deviance

Please feel free to reference my info: Carter, L. (2014). An Introduction to Sociology [Online]. Or message me if you require anymore information at 4partsofthe1@gmail.com 

Or check out my Facebook Page or Instagram (username: lauracarter141).

Bibliography

 

Dreaded Debt

Last year when McD and I took a break I had a period of about 9 weeks where I had very little money coming in and had to basically live off what was in my bank account. Income support messed up my single parent claim and it took an age to get my payments sorted out.

Anyway during this time I had to default on some bills as feeding my boy came first. Most places were happy with this, I missed two payments and have luckily been able to spread the payments over the remainder of the year so even though money has been super tight I’m finally getting back onto my feet where money is concerned.

The only company who weren’t fine were my water company. The arseholes! They immediately sent my account for the WHOLE year (even though we were only in March) to a debt collection company. Apparently this is standard practice for them. That was not a problem, if that’s how they want the money paying then fine. But the debt company wanted to send a man out to interview me. Not fine! I agreed for a man to come around with the paperwork on a day that my parents were available and signed an agreement to pay the remainder of the account over 9 payments (it just so happened to be the day next door flooded my carpet). Done!

Not done. Even though I had been making payments to the debt company, the debt company failed to communicate this with the water company and the water company sent my account to a court for a court order payment. I was fuming at this point as I had already cleared half of the account through the debt company.

The court realised the mistake, spoke to the water company and it was resolved. I still had to pay £120 for a letter that the court sent to the water company. I’m sure I could’ve argued the toss and got out of this but at this point I was so fed up that I paid it.

Well this is the last payment I have to make to clear the debt I owed and I will start making payments through the water company again his month. Or so I thought. I received a letter from the water company in February asking me to pay the remainder of the balance in one go, I called and explained the situation and they realised the mistake AGAIN, saw that I was making payments and were happy.

Or again, so I thought. This morning I have received a phone call from a completely different debt collection agency regarding this very same account. I give up! I sat on the phone to the nicest lady ever, went through every letter and payment with her, made her check ALL of my other addresses, even from when I was married, and she had no clue why they were asking me for money. So this lady, who let me say is being an absolute star, is now going to correspond with the other debt collection agency and my water company and find out what their problem is. It’s clear to me that there is a huge communication issue between the first debt collection agency and the water company.

She is “optimistic” I will have a solution within a couple of hours. I sure hope so. I’m not one for not paying my bills, if I have to pay something it gets paid but I sure as hell hate it when people obviously cannot do their jobs right!

To cheer myself up, and maybe you after reading through that, here’s a gorgeous photo of my boy doing what we love to do most…

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Don’t forget to head on over to my Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/4partsofthe1 or Instagram, lauraandharry x

Truly Terrible Threes!

I’m going to be perfectly honest with my readers now and tell you all that I haven’t got a clue how to deal with my three year old’s behaviour at the moment. It takes every ounce of my self control, and every grain of coffee in the jar, to remain patient through his constant tantrums, and I worry that whilst staying calm and patient, waiting for this current storm to pass, I’m wishing the only toddler years I will ever experience away. I swear I’ve looked at that article I shared on my Facebook page (17 parents who are having a worse day than you) about 13 times already!

I’m currently sat on the stairs (I put myself on the naughty step), writing this, while he tantrums in the kitchen. Last week we had a pleasant week, he wasn’t too bad. But now I realise it was all because he wasn’t feeling too great due to a urine infection.

Everyday he’s alone with me it’s like a constant battle of wills. He will do anything to see how far he can push me before I break. His current behaviours include hitting the dog, spitting, slapping, pinching, throwing things, slamming doors, punching himself and/or other things and then crying when he hurts himself, throwing things at me, throwing things at the dog and he’s developed this high pitched scream (which I’m convinced one day will shatter the windows) that he breaks out EVERYWHERE… The soft play, the hospital, the park… You name it, he’s screamed it down!

He’s in a good bed time routine, he has plenty of activities and attention, eats good food, spends time with my mum when I’m at college and McD is at work, I take things away from him when he is naughty… But he still fizzes up and explodes like a bottle of pop.

I know how he feels, I am this very same angry person that let’s the anger build up and then lashes out. It’s taken me 27 years to almost get my temper in check and during that time I’ve done many things, and lashed out at many people, that I’m ashamed of. So I get it. He has my exact same personality. It does not make it any easier to parent though.

I find that I can never sit still with him, he needs to be constantly entertained and it’s just impossible to constantly keep somebody entertained whilst trying to do things round the house and complete assignments. By the time McD gets home from work and I can do things I’m usually too exhausted, from battling my threenager, that I just about manage to throw something together for dinner.

Any ideas folks?

Well… He’s stopped crying and is asking for mummy so I better take myself out of my time out and go sort him out! Thanks for listening and wish me luck 😂

I’ll leave you with a picture of the spawn of satan actually being angelic for a change…

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Don’t forget to pop on over to my Facebook page; http://www.facebook.com/4partsofthe1 or Instagram; lauraandharry ❤️

I have carried you, always

I love this poem so much, this is how I feel about my son, how I feel about my relationship with McD and how I feel about being a mother. It’s perfect…

I have carried you, always.

Before you were conceived, I carried a part of you in my soul. When I met your father, I looked into his eyes and saw the other part of you, and knew you, and prayed that you would come to be.

Before you were born, I carried you in my womb. When you were restless I sang to you and soothed you and told you how I loved you.

When you were born, I carried you in my arms. I kissed you and held you and put you to my breast, so that you would know that there is light and warmth and goodness in the world.

Later, I wrapped you in cloth and carried you close to my heart. I held you close so that you could hear that my heart beats like yours; that we are the same, you and I, and that you would never have to cry alone.

After a while, I carried you on my back, so that you could look at the world with confidence and joy and know that you belonged; so that you could share all of the beauty of the world as an equal to all that live in it.

Now, later still, I carry you when you are tired or fearful. So that you know that no matter how weary you become, or what life holds, you can always depend on others for support and comfort.

When you grow older, my darling, and your adventures take you further from my arms, know that even in my last hour I will carry you. I will carry you in my heart, for you are always with me.

I will carry you, always.

- Christine Maguire

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Don’t forget to head on over to Facebook… Www.facebook.com/4partsofthe1 or Instagram… Lauraandharry xxx

Dear Judgmental Lady…

Okay I forgot to tell you all what happened to me yesterday. Actually I didn’t forget, It really annoyed me so I had to bury it pretty deep to stop myself from spontaneously combusting!

So I was out shopping with H after a play date with friends at our local soft play. I thought it would be the perfect time to grab a few items as he would be a little tired from playing and maybe a bit more ‘docile.’ How wrong was I?

H thought it would be the perfect opportunity to completely embarrass his mummy by having at least three tantrums in every shop we went into. And I don’t just mean a general whine, I mean lie on the floor and kick and scream tantrums. He even accidentally kicked a woman in one shop! But don’t worry, I have these incidents stored up in my memory and shall be getting my own back when he’s a teenager!

Anyway… We headed off to Wilkos (god I love that shop) for daddy’s toothpaste and I was just browsing the food aisles, H had decided he wanted a gun, it was one of those where you push the trigger and it makes annoying shooting noises. There was no way! So H decided to launch himself on the floor as I was browsing the sandwich selection and scream the place down. I reacted as I normally do in these situations, pretend that he’s someone else’s kiddo, completely ignore the tantrum and continue doing what I was doing whilst keeping a watchful eye on him.

A lady walked over to me and said “Do you realise your son’s crying?”

I wanted to reply with something like “Oh no, is he? Where? Cos he’s not screaming loud enough for my ears to pick him up all the way over here, a whole three feet away!” or more simply “No shit Sherlock!” What I actually replied was “yes, thanks!” (Short but sweet as I was already seething).

She then asked “Is he ok? Should you check?”

At this point I wanted to pick up the Ploughman’s baguette I had been eyeing up and smash her around the face with it repeatedly until she, like H, was lying on the floor kicking and screaming. Instead I very shittely replied “He’s having a tantrum, he’s fine!”

So here’s what I would have liked this lady consider before she tried to make me feel like shit for leaving my son to cry on the floor of a shop:

Lady,

I’m tired! I’m currently spending every spare second of my days studying for the two exams I have at college next week. Yes that’s right, I’m a student as well as a mother. On top of that I’ve got four assignments that are due in in the next couple of weeks and my whole life depends on these results.

It’s a bloody hard job trying to keep all of my balls in the air without dropping one and some days my patience level becomes dangerously low. Hence the reason why I let my son cry on the floor of shops, because consider this lady… if I gave in to that one demand, to ensure that your shopping experience was a peaceful one, then I would have to give in to every single one of my child’s demands and before you know it he’ll be stealing cars at 16!

I also have this nagging feeling of guilt that follows me every moment of my life. Guilt that I can’t sit and play with my child and our life has become a rush, guilt that I can’t see family members and friends all the time, especially my lovely granddad who unfortunately won’t be with us forever. Guilt that when my mum texts me to say that because of the bloody dementia she had to explain to granddad where his wife was again and I can’t drop everything and give her a hug. But I keep going because I know that this is the right thing to do.

So next time you decide to judge a mother whose child is screaming just think that maybe she didn’t get to sleep until 11.30pm last night and woke up at 5am this morning, so that she could fit everything into her day without having to impact upon her child. She still managed to schedule a play date with dear friends and then had to rush around town to buy essentials when her child would rather be at home snuggling on the sofa watching Disney films, which, come to think of it, is what she would rather be doing too.

Just think before you judge!

Yours sincerely

One very tired and very pissed off mama!

And on that note I shall leave you with a photo of my baby yesterday afternoon (after the incident) dressed up as iron man/Spiderman while we watched the avengers’ movie!

Don’t forget to pop over to my Facebook page or Instagram (username: Lauraandharry)

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10 Things I Should Say to my Love More Often

The past couple of weeks have been a blur of emotion. McD’s nan passed away after a short illness at 83, an old friend of mine was tragically killed in a motor biking accident and just today my favourite aunty’s (kez), best friend has lost her dad. She posted a beautiful status saying “on such a beautiful day my best friend has lost her dad” and I thought it was spot on. It has been the first nice day we have had in a long time but turned out to be such a sad one.

My friends passing completely knocked me off my feet. He was 35 years old, married his wife a couple of years ago and has a daughter a similar age to H-bomb. It reminded me that life is precious and also made me so thankful and so appreciative of everything I have. I saw a quote on facebook that hit the nail on the head, it said “some people are so poor they only have money” from an unknown author. Anyway, I have been feeling much more appreciative of McD and our relationship and I realise there are plenty of things that I don’t say to him often enough. So McD, this one’s for you. These are all the things I should say to you more often…

1.       I appreciate you

Thank you for working so hard so that I can follow my dream of studying English at university and eventually becoming a teacher. Thank you for standing by me when I spiral out of control because of the length of my to-do list and thank you for picking up the things that I can’t do.

2.       You are beautiful

I know you are sometimes conscious and shy but I want you to know that you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful man in this whole universe. Handsome is not a good enough word for you. You are more beautiful than Michael Fassbender and Benedict Cumberbatch combined. Even the Spanish lady who tried to hit on you at work knows it!

3.       You are an awesome dad

The bond you share with our boy brings me joy every second of everyday. I will spend my whole life happy that my baby has got the best father he could ever wish for. And this makes you even more beautiful to me. Hearing you sing twinkle twinkle for the thousandth time or watching you play balloon football are some of my favourite things to do.

4.       You are my best friend

I know this is a little clichéd but you truly are, you are the person I share my jokes with, the first person I contact when I get a good result on an assignment at college, the person I love to sit and talk to and this brings me nicely onto my next point…

5.       I love your personality

Sometimes you infuriate me and sometimes you annoy me. But you make me laugh every single day. You balance me out, your laid back temperament and personality are the perfect balance for my fiery temper. I also love all of the inappropriate things that you say, and that you think the same as me. You can spot a (metaphorical) train wreck a mile away and I love it when you point the out or send me screen shots!

6.       You will always be mine

We may have had our ups and downs and it may have taken us a while to get to where we are now but I know that you will always be mine. We will always be together. “Nothing lasts forever, except you and me. You are my mountain, you are my sea.”

7.       I’m sorry

For all of the things I did in the past that have hurt you, I wish there was a way to erase all of the harsh words we have thrown at each other in an argument, but there isn’t so all I can say is I’m sorry and…

8.       I forgive you

For all of the things you have done in the past that have hurt me, for all of the harsh we threw at each other in an argument. I forgive you.

9.       I miss you

Every moment we aren’t together, I think of you and miss you. It is the highlight of my day when I get in from college or you get in from work and we are together as a family. It is all I ever need. And perhaps most importantly…

10.   I Love you

Not like a Nicholas Sparks book or a Twilight film. My love is a slow simmering love. Constant, never changing but always growing. I shall continue to hate the way you eat and you shall continue to hate my nagging. We’ll argue and bicker, we’ll sulk and probably say some more harsh words to each other. But I will never stop loving you, I shall laugh at your jokes, we shall team up and be silent grammar Nazi’s against our Facebook friends, we shall eat inappropriate amounts of garbage whilst watching films, we will enjoy watching our boy grow and as our boy grows so will our love for each other. You may now vomit, I know you want to!!!

I shall leave you with a pic of McD and I being our usual selves:

McD and I

Don’t forget to pop on over to my Facebook page or check out my Instagram (username: lauraandharry) xxx

Cheeky Baby Tees

One thing I love about writing a blog is the people I meet and the friends I have made. Let me introduce you to Louise from Cheeky Baby Tees. Louise messaged me on the blogs Facebook page shortly after the ‘being hit by a car’ incident. I realised I hadn’t left enough time to order H-bombs birthday present and had nothing to give him on his birthday. Parenting fail. Anyway… Louise saw my status and messaged me offering one of her awesome personalised t-shirts. I was flabbergasted that somebody would offer to send me a t-shirt of my choice as a present for my boy. You can’t buy customer service like that folks.

Now let me tell you about the t-shirt itself, Cheeky Baby Tees has a range of colours, sizes and slogans but I asked for “good at being bad” as at the moment everything is “bad” to H-bomb. Louise emailed me with a picture of the t-shirt to see if I was happy with it, which of course I was. She also explained that their t-shirt sizes run a little big so I had every confidence that a 3-4 year old shirt would fit my tall boy. The t-shirt arrived within a couple of days, super-fast delivery. When I opened the package it was like Christmas Day. The shirt itself is awesome, lovely quality material and the design is excellent, exactly as I had hoped. I will definitely be having more of their t-shirts for my boy.

I decided to dress H in his new shirt for his birthday party and managed to get a couple of pics of my monster in it:

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And as if that wasn’t enough, Louise has set up a discount code for TEM readers giving 10% off any orders, just use the code ENGMUM10 when you check out. T-shirts are priced at £8.99 and are available in a range of sizes, colours and designs. Thanks so much Louise. Be sure to pop over and visit her at Cheeky Baby Tees or over on her Facebook page.

 

FOR A CHANCE TO WIN ONE OF THESE AWESOME SHIRTS THEN HEAD ON OVER TO MY Facebook page AND ENTER THE GIVEAWAY!