Dear Judgmental Lady…

Okay I forgot to tell you all what happened to me yesterday. Actually I didn’t forget, It really annoyed me so I had to bury it pretty deep to stop myself from spontaneously combusting!

So I was out shopping with H after a play date with friends at our local soft play. I thought it would be the perfect time to grab a few items as he would be a little tired from playing and maybe a bit more ‘docile.’ How wrong was I?

H thought it would be the perfect opportunity to completely embarrass his mummy by having at least three tantrums in every shop we went into. And I don’t just mean a general whine, I mean lie on the floor and kick and scream tantrums. He even accidentally kicked a woman in one shop! But don’t worry, I have these incidents stored up in my memory and shall be getting my own back when he’s a teenager!

Anyway… We headed off to Wilkos (god I love that shop) for daddy’s toothpaste and I was just browsing the food aisles, H had decided he wanted a gun, it was one of those where you push the trigger and it makes annoying shooting noises. There was no way! So H decided to launch himself on the floor as I was browsing the sandwich selection and scream the place down. I reacted as I normally do in these situations, pretend that he’s someone else’s kiddo, completely ignore the tantrum and continue doing what I was doing whilst keeping a watchful eye on him.

A lady walked over to me and said “Do you realise your son’s crying?”

I wanted to reply with something like “Oh no, is he? Where? Cos he’s not screaming loud enough for my ears to pick him up all the way over here, a whole three feet away!” or more simply “No shit Sherlock!” What I actually replied was “yes, thanks!” (Short but sweet as I was already seething).

She then asked “Is he ok? Should you check?”

At this point I wanted to pick up the Ploughman’s baguette I had been eyeing up and smash her around the face with it repeatedly until she, like H, was lying on the floor kicking and screaming. Instead I very shittely replied “He’s having a tantrum, he’s fine!”

So here’s what I would have liked this lady consider before she tried to make me feel like shit for leaving my son to cry on the floor of a shop:

Lady,

I’m tired! I’m currently spending every spare second of my days studying for the two exams I have at college next week. Yes that’s right, I’m a student as well as a mother. On top of that I’ve got four assignments that are due in in the next couple of weeks and my whole life depends on these results.

It’s a bloody hard job trying to keep all of my balls in the air without dropping one and some days my patience level becomes dangerously low. Hence the reason why I let my son cry on the floor of shops, because consider this lady… if I gave in to that one demand, to ensure that your shopping experience was a peaceful one, then I would have to give in to every single one of my child’s demands and before you know it he’ll be stealing cars at 16!

I also have this nagging feeling of guilt that follows me every moment of my life. Guilt that I can’t sit and play with my child and our life has become a rush, guilt that I can’t see family members and friends all the time, especially my lovely granddad who unfortunately won’t be with us forever. Guilt that when my mum texts me to say that because of the bloody dementia she had to explain to granddad where his wife was again and I can’t drop everything and give her a hug. But I keep going because I know that this is the right thing to do.

So next time you decide to judge a mother whose child is screaming just think that maybe she didn’t get to sleep until 11.30pm last night and woke up at 5am this morning, so that she could fit everything into her day without having to impact upon her child. She still managed to schedule a play date with dear friends and then had to rush around town to buy essentials when her child would rather be at home snuggling on the sofa watching Disney films, which, come to think of it, is what she would rather be doing too.

Just think before you judge!

Yours sincerely

One very tired and very pissed off mama!

And on that note I shall leave you with a photo of my baby yesterday afternoon (after the incident) dressed up as iron man/Spiderman while we watched the avengers’ movie!

Don’t forget to pop over to my Facebook page or Instagram (username: Lauraandharry)

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3 thoughts on “Dear Judgmental Lady…

  1. Thank you for sharing post, And …..all so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you a beautiful weekend. Much love. :)

  2. Been there as well and I’m ashamed to say it but before u had kids I used to think they tantrumed because they were spoilt but now when I see a kid having a paddy I usually smile at the parent and give a I know that feeling look because I know it’s much harder to say no and risk a tantrum when shopping than it is to just give in xx

  3. Don’t feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty for. H knows you love him and when he is old enough to realise what it is you have gone through to provide him with the life ahead of him, he will appreciate the sacrifice. You are doing a brilliant job, don’t ever forget that. It is not easy being a parent no matter how old they are. You are constantly questioning if what you are doing is the right thing, but there is no instruction manual and no second chance to change something if you think you are wrong. If you had given in to H and his tantrum, you would have had others look at you tutting and murmuring under their breath. Take no notice luv. You know H better than anyone and you know how to deal with him and his strops. Every child is different.

    Well done for not giving in! Keep up the good work :) xxx

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